On Friday night, Hannah and Keriann and I all went out for drinks after work. We were joined by their co-worker, who I will refer to as John, and his friend, BJ. The two of them, dapper and dashing as they are, are frat boys. This does not necessarily represent an inherent shortcoming, but it is kind of totally obvious. They toast to things that aren’t toast-worthy and play at wingmen when they go out. At least, I think that’s what’s going on.
Anyway, John and BJ are cool guys. Really cool. They like beer, movies, gadgets, girls, etc. We share a long list of interests in common. We had a great time at the bar we ended up at, but when we all left, ostensibly for different destinations, the night took an interesting turn.
It turned out that we all had to walk in the same direction; I was meeting Jess at Mo Pitkin’s, Hannah was meeting her friend from PIRG at Soho Park, and John and BJ were going to a party at their frat brothers’ apartment in the East Village. The walk was brilliant, chilly enough to warrant jackets and drunken enough to warrant blatant horseplay and loud conversations about the other drunk people around us. Mind you, it was only about 10:30.
The apartment was a different story. Though we stayed for close to half an hour, I don’t think any of us (Hannah, Keriann and myself) sat for longer then 10 minutes. We were out of our element, but not in an intimidating way: these guys were bona fide douchebags. “iBankers,” John called them. The three “iBankers” who lived in the apartment wore, intentionally or accidentally, matching button-downs with overtly-metro vertical stripes. They were all clean-shaven, all reeked of cologne, and all talked about women like they were toys to be obtained and then bragged about.
“I mean, if she can get by on her good looks, good for her,” pretty much represents the general attitude.
When we were on our way out, one of the fellows looked at Keriann (in a way I am told was particularly insulting), and asked her could she get him a beer. She politely declined, and we left.
Outside, Hannah and Keriann began bitching about how shitty those guys were, and also how unattractive. I offered my opinion that they were so unworthy of our attention that I hadn’t even noticed how much they sucked, let alone felt offended by it. Upon further discussion, it was decided that Keriann would have to touch John’s peepee, John being the most interesting and most attractive, and she would then have to tell us how big it was.
